Significant Changes

Present, Presently There YOU are Here I am Calm but stress toward the end Well well well well well well well This year has been one of mighty changes. The last couple of years have been quite intense.. plugging away. I can very much recall feeling as I did in my last post.. school is done, now what? Although the stress of school was done, I had obtained permanent work, a whole new kind of stress emerged... temporarily raising children. I knew it was coming. Things have been on there way for quite some time. When finally issues for my brother came to the forefront and plans were made, it was almost a relief. Just to know the plan. My niece and nephew arrived at the end of November. And sure, it was an adjustment. But on top of that, my 2.5 hour round trip commute made time and energy nil. Got through until Christmas. Then there was a significant change. I don't totally know what it was but I became depressed. I began to withdraw and isolate. This is not entirely unusual as I have a number of times per year that this would occur. Don't think that it is seasonal, likely situational. It was a very difficult time. My bond with my niece and nephew really grew. At the end of March, they returned to PEI with their dad who is now living with our parents. I think with the accumulation of this as well as many other issues over the years,led to my husband and I separating. I must say, ending a marriage is something else. Not a first that I am easily navigating. Marriage caused our lives to become so intertwined Dividing the debt and assets is a complicated art. One that we are still working on. Then there are all of those other things. We are amicable at this point. I hope it stays this way. I hope to be friends with him but have concerns as to how fair and realistic that would be. Then there is so... sooo much more. Yikes. I am focusing on health. I have been doing quite well for the last month and a half. This week, not as great, but I plan to get back there. I am not living with a colleague in Woodstock. My rent is incredibly affordable. I do, however, feel a great pull toward finding my own place. I am just concerned with logistics including the extra cost. But privacy is important. The 'ex' and I had a trip south canceled which has left me with a travel credit to spend. I so happen to have about a week and a half off at Easter time. If I had the guts, I would go myself. I am not sure if I would like it on my own, but it would likely be very helpful for self care. And, well that is the crazy short version. That leaves out a great many significant details. But I hope summarizes enough so I can read this entry and remember the importance... the integral components, that caused me to feel as I do now .