hey, dude.. if you wanna be single we'll need a complete list of financial debts and assets

I wonder.. If in our society; after marriage if the male also typically changed his name, if we would see the invasion of privacy and, I'll just say it,oppression, that a woman will endure to return to her maiden name? I really have not personally experienced a true sense of violation from society until I became legally separated and pursued returning to my maiden name. Have you gotten married and changed your name to your partner's? It is relatively easy. Our system and society encourages it. In fact, it feels quite nice to see the smiles of the government workers as they pleasantly change your identification. But now; each time i change my name, i get the congratulations from an assumption that ive recently been happily wed. And I do find it painful and each time is like an unintentional stab of pain. Then to top it off?, most places require me to pay large chunks of money to return to my maiden name. Jeeze when i changed my name at University the first time to the Married name there was no fee,no penalty. This time, yes I required a replacement degree and 120 dollars. But that is almost understandable. . However many places ask for "proof"that the relationship dissolved. What is proof you ask? Well 2 pieces of identification with your "New" name, a divorce certificate or the divorce or separation agreement, accompanied of course by a nominal fee. Each and every time that i am required to submit my legal separation papers, i cringe. Not only does it feel painful to be changing my name in the first place, but here are some more hoops to jump through. .. and Just to make the experience all that more painful, these organizations want to see the dirty details of the end of the marriage. "How much did she take him for? " None. Equal divide. "Who gets the house? " "how much debt did they rack up over the years? " "has she gone for his pension? " No. "Now, why exactitude Exactly are they stating as their reason to do something as terrible as end a marriage? " I don't usually go off on rants such as these but man. It's like I'm being raped of my freedom to have a personal life with confidential details. And it just keeps going. More congratulations from the person attempting to come from a place of kindness. But then recongratulating me when i correct them? Now in that situation, I'm sure that she had no clue what else to say. But offensive, yes. Or the coworker that offers their seemingly kind ears. Once they hear that the marriage ending is painful, making a comment such as "yep. See. That's why it's probably better just to stick with it because the grass isn't really greener " Yes everyone. That is your opinion. But sharing it with me in this way is truly inconsiderate. The funny part, I'm actually at a much better place with the name change thing and could never appropriately write about it while i was experiencing the true depth of the pain. But, I was just aggressively woken up by the courier man attacking my door with his fists, delivering my degree with the "corrected"name and thought id share :)