And here are some mumblings about my personal life

I just did something that no 28 year old woman should do. Haha just kidding. But I am still cringing. I so happen to have kept this blog since about 2004 or 2005. Kinda cool, right? I get to keep track of my development, basically for my 20's. I just re-read the posts from the year I noticed I had the most entries. aaaaaaaaggggllllll Each and every entry seems to focus on the following themes in order of most commonly discussed: Danial, school, health. I mean the posts about Danial... like every single time. It just makes me feel gross. So much of my life seemed to be focused on my relationship. I seemed to be desperately trying to make it work. I almost ask myself, did I have nothing else to focus my attention on? I spent SO MUCH TIME thinking (obsessing?) about that relationship. But let's put this into context, shall we? It was 2009. When dude joined the military that I tried to force myself to be okay with. That doesn't excuse all of the posts before. Not to mention the WRITTEN JOURNAL entries that I have. I stopped looking at them and writing at one point because it was so focused on being upset with that man. It's quite sad. How long it took me to finally come to the decision based on how long it was clear that our lives were going in apposing directions. In some ways I find myself focusing/analyzing my current relationship too much. I am actually catching myself at times. I mean it makes sense that some thinking patterns would creep up from the end of a 11 year relationship. It's just exhausting. And I have other things going for me. My relationship is definitely my top priority but so is my work, personal goals and family. I wish that my brain;s "default" mode wasn't "over-analyze the shit outa A B or C". In fact, in my "new life" I have just recently found that I have energy to BOTH read to further educate myself for work AND pleasure read. Like, how come this blog didn't talk about the fact that last weekend Jeff and I made a day trip to go to my grandmother's surprise 80th birthday? I go to see my adorable niece and nephews. My boyfriend was welcomed into both sides of the family since December. That's pretty cool! I miss girl time with my mom and sister. I wanna be more involved with my family. I am going to do another 5K race. Sebastian tried to jump on top of the fridge tonight and slid down and plopped on her but on the fridge which caused me burst into laughter for 10 minutes. Good stuff if you ask me! hahaha. I went to French class tonight and was the only student that showed up. I got some rad one on one teaching that I think actually motivated me a bit more for French.