Pumpkin Scar

It has been almost a year. Since the last Thanksgiving that we shared. It has been almost a year of establishing myself. Standing on my own two feet. I look down at my thumb and see the pumpkin scar. It is pumpkin season now. And when I see a pumpkin my heart aches. Because of that thanksgiving when I baked a pumpkin pie from scratch, my grandmother's recipe. When slicing the pumpkins, the knife slipped and sliced open the knuckle on my thumb. The scar is significant. It is noticeable. Knarly to the eye. But I see it. I see pumpkins and My heart wells. I think of you. Thanksgiving. Fall. That was our time. Our most special memories were made. We spent 3 thanksgivings together. The last one, we weren't even a couple anymore but we were still completely in love. And went to your family event anyway. I no longer have hope about you and I. The pain has dulled but is most certainly still there. I have taken this year to recuperate. Allowing my heart to rebuild. I have moved on in many different ways. But was not able to pull off a serious relationship since you. I know someday this will change. You have since jumped head first into a new relationship. You're married now. Engaged in only 1-2 months. I remember in the spring when I found out I thought "The love of my life, my soul mate, is getting married to someone who is not me". We were apart 5 months by then. I think differently now. But that doesn't take away that I miss you. I miss that special beautiful love that we shared. How shocking, quick and beautiful our connection was. And I feel I have been looking too hard, for the next one. Or for something similar. But then I remembered. It just happens. I don't need to look. I hope that you continue to be happy. I am sure you have no clue how much I still think of you. How something so simple as a pumpkin will never be the same. That I look down at my pumpkin scar and think fondly of you and our times. Take care moon.