What's up, what's up?

Fuck I am sexy with a cold. So fucking sexy.

It's almost JUNE 1st. Dan updated me with his army posting orders. This changed our plans so that I am moving at the beginning of July which I'm actually kinda excited for. I hear that Kingston is a big penitentiary town which gives me lots of work to do. (By work I mean get a rad Social Work practicum)

It was.... interesting to have the chance to live apart but I am OVER it. 5 months is enough to get a taste. Think it is lame if you want.. but I want to live with my lover.

I wonder.. what will Kingston bring? Will it be horrible and boring? Or an exciting adventure. I have to guess that it will be neither. Oh well. I think that it is time for me to leave PEI for a while. I have been back since 2005.. so yeah.. it is time.

I was thinking about what I was doing this time last year and realized that I was wasting away at the bank. Even though I am not in the happiest living situation I am damn glad that I am not working there.

I must admit that my job is growing on me. Having dudes that are the same age as my brother call me "teacher" is pretty hilarious. It is also kind of funny that they seem to like it the harder that I am on them.


Internet School

Is it for me? Do I like it or hate it? I have no clue. I will likely wait to decide until after I get some grades back.

Oh yeah.. that is basically my life right now. Internet school, work, volunteering... oooo I am happy that my crisis line volunteering is almost finished. I find it to be soooo stressful.

Gross

I made some chicken and I didn't cook it all the way through WHOOPS.

Summer summer summer. How I have missed you.
I am still getting into the new routine of work and school. I am trying to gauge how it's gonna be but no luck yet. Too early.

My job requires a lot of creativity apparently. I like to think that I am creative but that may be just wishful thinking. Silly me. I assumed that I would get to use material from the last person who did this job. That would have been nice... instead of doing the whole term from scratch. It is pretty surprising the amount of freedom I have with it.

.... I'm moved out of the apartment and now at Melissa's. I'm so happy that the move is finally finished. I am just waiting for Natasha and Cory to move out so that the landlord can do the inspection.

Monday is my first day of work and school. I am excited for school but not so much for work. I am hoping that work will be kind of flexible with days off. I won't complain though because I will have the weekends off.

Last weekend I drove to Quebec to visit Danial. It was a pretty sweet weekend. I headed over Thursday to get there early and have a mini vaca by myself. We had Boston Pizza... I know-- we have one on PEI no big deal. The Boston sized drinks were pretty enjoyable though.

This week Danial is in the woods somewhere sleeping in a tent doing his army man exercises. I will be heading there again to see Dan for his army grad on May 14. Then he has to report for duty on Sunday in Borden Ontario.

I kinda feel sorry for him because he is going to miss PEI summer. I doubt that he will get the chance to pop home for a visit.

Good

Finished my exams and now have 3 weeks to do..... what? Hmm. I get pissed at myself because I get so excited for time off but when it happens I get anxious with nothing to do. Time off should work out this time cause I have to move.

Apparently Danial and I have a horrid issue with keeping unnecessary things such as telephone bills from 2007. Gross.
I will likely get stir crazy and make a trip to Quebec to visit Danial. No one plans to go to Montreal for the end of April ey?

I will probably end up going myself. Brave it or whatever.

So I found out that I got the job at UPEI. It should be interesting. I met with the instructors that I will be working with today and we created a general layout for the term. I think that I'm really going to like it. In the afternoons I get to take the students to different places to teach them about PEI. I am planning on taking them to the beach once or twice so it should be good :D

I haven't been excited about a job in soooo long that I have forgotten what it is like to work somewhere that I like.

So my birthday turned out a lot better than I thought. I had three birthday cakes and was completely spoiled. Friends and family certainly came through :D

I have been boozing with family over the last couple of weeks which is always interesting. Last night my mother kind of made it clear that I am a real 'mix breed'. Lots of German, Scottish, French and English.

APRIL 3rd

Ek. I am exhausted. For some reason I got myself all sketched out about a intro sociology paper that is due today. I don't understand what my problem was. I didn't care about anything else that was due this week nearly as much as this stupid first year paper.
Whatever, I am glad that classes are finished!!!!

It is my birthday today as well. Right now I am being a big crybaby and wishing that I got to spend it with Danial. This is the first time that I will be celebrating it without him since I was 17 or something.
Here is a tribute me being a fucking cry pussy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_OVGCK91Bt8

SO- I was disappointed because I didn't even get April fooled this year! Is it pathetic that I look forward to being fooled?

I have a feeling that tonight is going to be one of those *extra vulgar nights.

Fuck. I just need to shutup and be positive.

Opportunity ya shay?
mmmmm I just made a really yummy spaghetti dish. I made whole wheat spaghetti Alfredo. Then in a separate pan I made a stir fry of yellow pepper, onions and mushrooms with a hot salsa. mmm. then I poured the stir fry over the pasta and it mixed to become something amazing.
I am sure that chef's have a fancy name for this or something. So good!

I had an interview today for a summer position at UPEI within the english assistance program. I think that it went okay. Apparently I will find out by Wednesday. I haven't had an interview for a job that I cared about for a few years. The job would be to: tutor students English, coordinates activities, possibly assist with the EAP summer courses and other random office crap. The majour focus being international students.
It would be 30 hours a week--Monday till Thursday 9 till 3 and Friday 9 till 12. C'mon-- that is sweet.

It would begin in May which would happily give me the Month of April off. This would be convenient for moving and all that.

I am probably going to make another trip to Quebec in April. St Jean is such a boring town that I think that we should probably stay in Montreal for the weekend this time.

Apparently Danial is doing well with the army and all. He says that during the week it is disgustingly busy.

Relief
I got a letter from university of Victoria today indicating that I have been accepted to their social work program. This means that my life no longer feels like it is on hold and I can begin to make some general plans for the future. It is a distance program so I am able to move anywhere which is A+. I will likely move to Kingston Ontario with Danial in the summer after he is shipped there.

I am happy that I will be able to live with my hubby but am a bit sad that I will be leaving all of my buddies. It won't be happening for a long time yet though. I just want enjoy the positive side for now.

I don't mean to sound cocky, but I am pretty proud of myself for getting in. I applied last year and was rejected. So I have been working my ass off for school and it seems that it is paying off.

Arg-- I cannot let myself forget about a meeting that I have tomorrow evening..

Panorama Zing-- Strange Australians

So Thursday night at midnight I officially decided to make a trip to Quebec to visit Danial. I called my parents to let them know in case I ended up dead on the side of the road. By 1 AM my dad decided that he would come along for the ride. This was convenient because he brought along his GPS.

It was not a fun short road trip but worth it both for Danial and I. He wasn't "aloud" out until the following day because they failed their Friday inspection. We didn't know for sure that he had Saturday off until Saturday at 12:00 ish. It was all on a whim.

We had a pretty good night together except for a fucking ridiculous email from my X-boss. I am so glad that I do not work there anymore.

We headed home around 3pm on Sunday. Some of the excitement included picking up hitchhikers in Quebec and driving them all the way to Moncton and narrowly avoiding a collision with a moose or some deer on the highway going 120kph
Since my father just loves to make things exciting he convinced me to push the gas tank as far as it could go. He kept telling me that there was a gas station just minutes up the road. Minutes turned into 40 minutes and we slimley avoided running out of gas. It was the first time that I have ever gotten 570 Kilometers on a tank.

I got home on Monday at 4am and was a zombie until basically right now- Tuesday evening.

It is getting to be the end of my school term, thank god. I just want it to be over. It is hard enough to work on courses at all let alone do well at them right now.

I learned a new term today from a homosexual guest speaker.
Fruit Fly- female that hangs out predominately with gay men. Example Grace from Will and Grace.

I also learned the origin of the term fagot which is from the days of witch burning. Fagot is a term for kindling. When a witch was to be burned the towns people gathered homosexual men and women and used them as "kindling" for their fire.
Fancy that. So much tact and class.

This class also allowed me to see pictures of females and males post operation. The most interesting was the penis that was turned into a vagina. One Female to male was really well done while the other was not so much.

Aside from thinking of vagina and penises I have been thinking about where I will be living by the end of the summer. Seems like it will either be PEI or Kingston Ontario. Hopefully I will have that figured out within the next month.

Winter Thaw Please

The weather slowly changing to my liking. It is so nice to get out of class before dark. Not that I think a lot of myself but I hate walking to the far parking lot at UPEI after dark. You never know who is lurking in the corners.

I relieved a lot of school stress today because I did a group presentation that was worth a wack. Thank god it is over with. I was really lucky this time because the other people in my group were not slackers. It was also nice because they were not simply difficult.

This Saturday I am looking forward to :D
It is my last day at the bank-- and I even cut a deal with a co-worker so I can sneak off a few hours early.
I am pumped for our girly trip to Moncton. It should be a good time.

I have been attempting to plan a visit to Quebec to see my other half but it is complicated. He will not know if he has permission to have the weekend off until FRIDAY. I was going to fly but flights booked 'the day of' seem to be outrageously priced.
I may just end up waiting until I am finished of school and have the time to drive.

In 3 weeks I will be finished of BMO... FOREVER.

Don't gag
I have been kind of reflecting on life. It is crazy how much things change in such a short period of time. It seems like my life is always "up in the air". I don't think that I am complaining about it- just contemplating.

Don't get me wrong. I am not living a crazy roller coaster life but it is certainly different than my mother's life. I am thinking that the reason that so much change is happening so often is because of my age. I am young and it shouldn't be a huge shocker. I guess that the thing is-- the changes have been pretty big for me lately.

I will get some direction by the end of March. That is when I should know whether or not I have been accepted by University of Victoria. If I am accepted, I will likely move to Kingston Ontario which is where Danial will be doing his specialized training. That is the wonderful thing about internet programs. They will never hold me down to one location.

If I am not accepted, it only makes sense for me to continue going to UPEI. I would love to live with Danial, but I need to do what is best for me. I mean, he is doing what is best for him.

I guess that I am becoming increasingly aware of the fact that we could be living apart for at least one year. I know, I know. I should have known this for a long time. I am sometimes slow to accept reality. That is a long time to live away from my spouse. I want to make sure that I am being clear. I am just becoming aware of how different our lives together can end up.

I am probably repeating myself a bit, but it is what keeps coming to my mind.

Aside from that goo-
I have one midterm left. If I am not accepted to university of Victoria I plan to take summer courses.
One being a philosophy course about existentialism! This gets me far to excited considering that it is both a class and summer school. When I found this course on the summer timetable I must have been making noises because my room mate called to me from her room asking why I was so excited. I think that this could qualify as sad but I don't care because I am so excited!

Eh
It is week 2 living without my husband and I have noticed an emotional trend. When he is able to call me often, I feel fine. When he calls rarely, I begin to feel strange about the whole thing and become confused. My confusion is about how good or not good I can be about the whole thing. I know that it makes sense, but it bothers me that this is happening. I wish that I could have feelings that are level rather than up and down.

It is just such a huge change.-------------

SCHOOL* I saw my exam schedule and it appears that my last exam is on Saturday, April 11th at 7:00PM. I am still so shocked that UPEI has Saturday exams. At the time being it doesn't bother me because I to be finished after the first week of exams. I looked at the summer course listing and there is not a single psychology or family science course that I can take. Shouldn't they hire professors that do not mind teaching summer courses?
This means that I will likely be taking distance courses somewhere. Honestly, I have no idea what I am doing this summer. I don't even know whether or not I will be living on PEI.

WORK* One thing is for sure. I will not be working full time at the bank. Even though it would be easy to obtain I would not feel good about it. I am not sure if I will be with the bank at all by the summer. I don't need to worry about it yet though. The only thing is if I want to visit Danial in Quebec it will be tough to get the time off (I work Saturdays).

Supper without Danial (or Natasha):
Peanut butter sandwich with red pepper, banana and a dab of honey.
For those of you who do not know-- supper for me is usually a home cooked meal.
hmmm?

It doesn't seem that I will need to buy a bed after all. I was getting stressed about dishing out that much money. Especially because it would have been student loan money.

Natasha and her two cats are here now. That makes 3 cats in our apartment. I was wondering if it was gonna feel as if there were too many animals, but it isn't too bad. Our place is kind of wacky with stuff everywhere right now..

haha.. 'Hero' by Papaya just came on via music shuffle. It inspired me to look up the youtube video. Nice. It definitely reminds me of listening to 90's dance music back in the day. Check it out
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTrTVNYBOho


I seem to have forgotten how long it can take to write a research paper. I have been working on it all day. You wouldn't know that by looking at the document because it consists of a title page and the reference list. The bibliography took me an hour to do WITH citation machine. Intense.

I will be so happy for this week to be over. Next week is spring break and I plan to do a hell of a lot of chilling. It won't be too precious because mid-terms continue the following week. Oh well.

Today

Danial's plane left this morning at 9AM so we shall see things go. Natasha gets in around 5pm today which is funny timing. My only time officially living alone is today.

Little more boring:
I think that I have decided to buy a new bed. It will be the first new bed I have ever owned. While shopping around it is amazing to see the different types of bed makings. It is kind of annoying because all I really want is a nice comfy bed that lets me sleep.

What?

I have avoided procrastinating with school for a long time now... until this special paper that I have due tomorrow. Why am I torturing myself?

Name change... again?

I have had this discussion with many of my friends, some family and acquaintances. When I married Danial the issue of name change turned up. As in many families it was usual for the woman to take the man's last name. We briefly considered the options and then selected the typical.

I then began attending UPEI and took a variety of women studies courses and began to learn about the origin of marriage. As many of us know not so long ago women have been considered the property of man etc etc. I have increased my knowledge (and opinion) regarding gender which built a fire within. I made the choice to change my name without knowing. With the loss of my last name came the loss of the identity that was associated with it. Obviously not 100 percent but enough for me to notice.

This has caused a lot of conflict for me. I am kind of wondering what your opinions are on this?

I guess the next part of the situation is the option to change my name back. When I mentioned this to my mother she said " people are going to think that you got divorced". Obviously she is probably right but is that enough reason to continue this tradition?

I don't want to imply that I against tradition but I have believed that I am part of an equal relationship. If relationships are 'equal' than why is it that the women are the ones that change their last names? Why isn't it a 50/50 thing? Obviously there is still a lot of socialization that makes men feel they should keep their names.

Aside from my casual ranting (haha) my biggest thought is whether or not to change my name back. At this point I have almost decided to.

I have been pretty overwhelmed and stressed over the last while. It seems that there is so much to do all the time. I had a pretty refreshing day today. I had a little bit of a chance to sleep in this morning and then went bowling with my family. It was interesting because it was our first family event that had four couples.

I have been craving pizza delight for a ridiculous amount of time considering that it is practically across the street. After bowling we all headed there for lunch. I wish that I could sat that it was amazing but I got a salad that was more croutons that lettuce. Oh well, I can't complain too much about a free meal.

Dan and I went home afterward and chilled in our sunny living room on the couch.
So yeah, it has been an pretty chill Sunday.

We bought a whole chicken which we plan to make for supper tonight. This even despite the warning that kidneys may still be located inside the carcass. haha

I hope that this semi-lazy day allows me to re-energize and get back to the books.

I have that scratchy feeling in my throat.