<3 Love you S

I want to wish a certain lady best wishes and positive energy with her surgery which is scheduled tomorrow in Halifax.

You are strong and I believe you will make it through smoothly :)
<3 Jenn

Oh baby

It's Friday night,
Just got paid..
1 venti caramel brule latte
1 10 page paper due tonight
1 bundle of nerves

Ah, the memories. It seems that I am reminiscing with UNB days of all nighters, too much caffeine and anxiety.

Instead of writing my paper I am complaining about it here.
I have a huge file that I am attempting to submit for this project. I have been waiting forever for it to upload which means it will likely fAiL. At least if that happens I will have a legit excuse for passing it in tomorrow? Maybe?

It is a lovely video of me doing the social worker thang with a chick. I got to film it and watch it over and over again and critique it. I was disgusted from watching myself each time. Torture.

Lies-Kitty montage

Aww my kitty is so adorable. Look at all of the cute things that she does.. Yes those are my chubby hands with Dan's.. attempting to show off our wedding rings.. and the castle like photo is a swank "medium security" prison that we used to live by.

We moved across town last weekend. Perk of being a "military family" is all of the strong helpful men that are eager to help. 6 people are so much better than 2. I LOVE our place. Did I mention that I did not see it until we got the keys? We have so much more space. I was expecting a crappy place but they re-did pretty much everything so it feels new.. :) I am so happy with it.. We are actually unpacking which we really haven't done since we moved to Ontario.

That's all for now!

What am I trying to tell myself?

**Exhale
For some strange reason I am having another cycle of vivid dreams. Usually these cycles have themes like the end of the world, nuclear bombs, PEI flooding, being 3 hours late for something important etc. etc.

Now I have 2 themes:
same sex sex
reproduction

My girl on girl dreams always involve me and someone I know.. I am too embarrassed to spill these names on my public blog. I somehow find myself in sexual circumstances that I feel obligated to continue with. These dreams are not fun or even funny. Actually, they are kind of stressful and sad. I feel that if I say "no" these girls they will be heart broken. But then they become upset because they realize that I am not "enjoying" myself...

When I googled it here is what I got:
Dreaming that you are a lesbian (but you are not in your waking life) means a union with aspects of yourself. It is symbolic of self-love, self-acceptance, and passion. You are comfortable with your sexuality and femininity. If, in your dream you abhor the notion of lesbianism, then it represents your fears and rejection of parts of your own sexuality. If you are a lesbian in your waking life, then the dream is simply a reflection of your own self.

So I wasn't actually a lesbian in my dreams but the first part of the above paragraph couldfit

My second theme has been about babies... People I know being pregnant, me being pregnant and the most recent one was my cat being pregnant.

My poor cat was both herself and a friend of mine in my dream.. She was raped and I found her in a field near death after miscarrying 4-5 pups that were approximately the same size as she is. When I questioned her about the happenings she became my human friend telling me about the multiple rapes that she has experienced by dogs.

I have no idea how to google that one.
My dreams are so intense and messed up.. Weird.

Halloween 2009

A dead zombie like fellow and a "punk" pirate made their way out on the town last night. I was impressed with the dance club that included minimal groping. Yet, I did see a little too much Vag for my liking.. In a room crowded with random ghosts and ghouls I might add. I get that Halloween give dames the opportunity to dress as racy as their hearts content but please, no penis and clam in public.

Anywho, it was a good night. I met a bunch of amazing people and am looking forward to doing it all again :)

The tension in my chest is lifting...

sdlfkjsdklfsldfjasldkjf
I finally got the nerve to once again attempt to talk to the student loan appeal dude. I emailed and got a lame response about how busy they were and to check in a week. The same response I have been getting for the last 3 weeks...

Danial randomly decided to check my loan status and look who decided to finally do their job! I now have some money to live off of...

Also got my laptop back today... my love bug hassled the shop for their mess up and we ended up getting everything we wanted and more for free.

All I want for Christmas~

is to go home!!!!

I am a big baby who want to be home for the holidays. Keeping fingers crossed!

..................

Danial took my laptop into Future Shop yesterday to have extra RAM installed.. The technician attempted to update the BIOS and failed. May need a new motherboard. Listen to all of this computer lingo coming out of ma mouth! Point of the story is that I may be without my laptop for 2-3 weeks.

So we decided to celebrate this with Whiskey and Vodka as any good patron would. I wonder how much of our rowdiness that our neighbour(LanDlorD) heard. Doesn't really matter,,, we are outta here in November. How responsible of me.

PEACE

You know what really erks me??

The fact that the student loan people call my approved amount an "award". Really? An award that I get to pay back with interest when I am finished?

As usual I appealed my loan at the beginning of September... I am beginning to get stressed about it though because it's taking longer than usual to get approved. I have this term payed for but I need to be able to live too.. ugh.

The last time I called the appeal guy he was so nasty that he almost made me cry. I tried to get around talking to him today but he is the ONLY one with my answers. Man. Is it really not enough to put me in crazy debt? You really need to make me feel like shit on a personal level too?

Obviously, I just need to get thicker skin and hassle him. I can't be such a sensitive crybaby.

Danial took a peek at one of the base apartments today. We are going to go for it. It will be nice. We will be upgrading from a 1 bedroom apartment with no closet space to a 3 bedroom apartment with a storage area. We will need to buy a fridge and stove which is kind of weird. I have never owned appliances for an apartment. There is also washer/dryer hookup so I am almost regretting that we sold ours.

All in all I am pretty happy right now. I go through big ups and downs about being married to someone in the military but right now it feels okay. I feel like I might have reached a balance.

Yes, I am doing on of THOSE posts

Layers of the onion..............

LAYER 1: Tell us your…

* Name: Jenn
* Birthday (month, day): April 3
* Birthplace: Charlottetown, PE
* Current location: Kingston, ON
* Eye color: green/hazel
* Hair color: light brown with blondish tones.
* Height: 5'7
* Righty or lefty: Lefty
* Zodiac sign: Aries

LAYER 2: What’s…

* Your heritage: French, German..
* The shoes you wore today: None- I didn't leave the apartment :/
* Your weakness: Chick flicks, no matter how devastating
* Your fears: Not being able to become happy with life
* Your perfect pizza: greek pizza with ranch sauce
* Goals you’d like to achieve: MSW
* Your first waking thoughts: What time is it?
* Your best physical feature: Maybe my eyes?
* Your most missed memory: Being crazy close to certain awesome ppl

LAYER 3: Do you…

* Smoke: Not recently
* Cuss: Fuck yes
* Sing: Yes. Usually I am unaware that I am doing so
* Do you think you’ve been in love: Yes
* Did you go to college: University, yes
* Liked high school: Didn't hate it didn't love it
* Want to get/stay married: Yes
* Believe in yourself: Usually
* Think you’re attractive: I sometimes manage to convince myself
* Think you’re a health freak: Nope
* Get along with your parent(s): Usually
* Like thunderstorms: Yes, but they scare me haha
* Play an instrument: Nah

LAYER 4: In the past month have you…

* Drank alcohol: Yes
* Smoked: nope.. Except for second hand
* Done a drug: nope
* Made out: Yes
* Gone on a date: Indeed
* Gone to the mall: Mostly because I work there :/
* Eaten an entire box of Oreos: No.. eww
* Eaten sushi: Yes
* Been on stage: No
* Been dumped: Nope
* Gone skating: No
* Gone skinny dipping: No.. I am no longer that close to the ocean
* Stolen Anything: No.. unless you count failing to make a stupid waitress aware that she undercharged me.

LAYER 5: Have you ever…

* Played a game that required removal of clothing: Yes
* Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Yes
* Been caught “doing something”: This is probably going right over my head.. but if it is fooling around, most likely.
* Been called a tease: Yes
* Gotten beaten up: No
* Shoplifted: Yes

LAYER 6:

* Age you did get/hope to be married: Married
* Numbers and names of children (either you have or want): No more than 2.. I like the German name Resme
* Describe your dream mate: Someone loving, open, honest and loyal
* How do you want to die: In my sleep when I am wrinkly beyond recognition
* What did you want to be when you grow up: Psychologist, actress, singer
* What country would you most like to visit: Somewhere in Europe

LAYER 7: Now tell…

* Name a drug you’ve taken illegally: Hmm… marijuana
* Name a person you could trust with my life: Danial
* Name a favorite CD that you own: I do not own many CD's but am loving the Yeah Yeah Yeahs right now
* Number of piercings: ears.. 2
* Number of tattoos: None
* Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: Maybe 3 or 4? From wayyy back
* Name a past experience that you regret: I am trying not to regret the past right now.. but probably the unnecessary offensive things that I have said to ppl

Q?

Danial and I were talking a few days ago about how much it will suck for him to drive to work in the winter. Currently, he has to wake up around 5am just to be out the door to get to work on time. Obviously with crappy weather it is gonna take him longer to drive all the way across town. If he is late for work (say stuck in a snow bank) he gets in a lot of trouble. When we realized this, it was obvious that living on the base would be sooo much more convenient and stress free (for him).

I know! I have groaned and snorted about the idea of living on base before but it has some positives to it. He contacted the military personnel living quarters place and it seems that a "Q" (apartment) will be available by November 15th.

Living on base would also mean that I would be conveniently close to the gym.. Lunch time aerobic woot woot! A 9 month membership will cost me 30 bucks!!! I don't even think that my UPEI gym membership was that cheap.

So how many moves would that be in the last 12 months? 5. Feels like 2004/2005 all over again. Whatever. Someday I will settle down.

Life Life Life

Here is my daily(ish) routine:
~Drag myself out of bed as early as possible
~Check my online school thang and attempt to read the 100 missed messages from the last 12 hours
~Attempt to get organized to be productive
~Force myself to do some school reading.. Luckily a random reading will be really interesting
~Watch some TV online that I missed the night before (ANTM, Greek)
~Attempt more school/lunch
~Finally shower and get ready for work
~Bike or walk to work
~Become really pissed that I am at work even though it is just a 4 hour shift
~Come home and wonder why there is hardly any school work done

It seems that I am not the most productive while schooling at home. I always find ways to better occupy my time such as laundry, random internet, checkin out photo albums...
LAME LAME LAME

I guess that is not really all that I do.. I also get to stress about my student loan not yet arriving and the fact that I desperately want to go home for Christmas. My grammy is getting old and I don't want to miss xmas with her. Not to mention missing everyone else.

When I was in Victoria I met a lot of cool dudes who live in Vancouver. Maybe I should move there(ha). Next year Dan finds out where he will be posted and I don't want to stay in Kingston. Possibilities include: Halifax, Ottawa and Victoria.

On a happier note: I have never done a practicum of any sort so am going through the long confusing process now. I met with someone from a place for mental health and it turned out that I was being kinda sorta interviewed. Know what I mean? You speak with someone and agree to meet so they can explain to you what they do and then it turns into them interviewing you.

Anyhow it worked out because he wants me. Probably not sexually but definitely for a field placement. I wasn't aware of this until he began sending me huge emails about the process of having a 'mask fitting', getting my email set up and keys.

Does no one else get this excited about working in mental health?!
Yeah, I am pretty excited.

Gimme a minute

So I decided to leave it till the night before to really plan for my Victoria trip. I need to meet some rad social work buddies this week to get into trouble with.... HA.. I feel that my rad buddies will all be older and at a completely different life stage than me.

Here is a list things my instructor told me to bring:
scissors,
markers, crayons
a pic of me when I was a child
a cultural icon
pics of friends, family and places
a mug
a glue stick
a book with a hard spine
music
maybe a poem

Obviously completely different than what I expected. I guess we will be doing some crafts and sharing.

I will be soooo happy when this degree is finished. I need to be back in the workforce. Don't get me wrong.. I like school.. I am happy to have the opportunity to go to school but I miss making money.

I STILL haven't explored Kingston... really..

I have a new perspective with Danial being in the army. It actually gives me some direction with life. Before I had a freakish amount of options and choices to make. Now it seems so much easier to see what our future might be like. There are some pretty sweet benefits that come with being in the military.

Ahhhh. I keep forgetting to plan my practicum for school. I am supposed to do it by the first of school.. which is in 2 weeks. It feels impossible.. I have no idea what is here or where I would like to go. All I do know is that I don't want to be doing child services for this one.

Okay...So here is my spanking *new* life

I am kinda wound right now. As some of you know, I recently got a job as a family photographer. It is cool because through this job I will earn my photographer certification. Also, I was hired to be the assistant manager. I am not looking for a job that stresses me out like crazy (*Cough* bank :S)but this seems like it will be good.

It is also pretty sweet that our studio just went digital so the ability to be creative is endless. I have not been fulfilling my creative needs for the last year so now I'm happy.

At the end of this month I am going to Victoria.. yeah you know that. I just got off the phone with my professor so I am now really pumped. Sure it is only a week of face to face training but it is going to be such a good experience. If I am lucky I will get to scoot over to Vancouver and see a certain buddy.

Haha.. I am lame... getting excited about work AND school.

Clearly, I am loving living with Danial again. It is cool to see how adaptable that we are.

AS FOR KINGSTON: It is surrounded by water! There are even beaches close by. I am pretty sure that one of my biggest disappointments about moving away from PEI was being away from the water. I need to take some photos of Kingston so yas can see what I'm talking about.

As previously mentioned: I Love Ontario shopping! It is nice to have some variety. There a couple of cool looking vintage shops that I would like to explore.

All in all... Kingston seems to be the perfect 'stepping stone' to living in a big city. There are more people but they still look you in the eye when you walk past them on the street.

So yeah,,, things are pretty good so far...Except for missing my buds and family like crazy. My dreams are once again haunting me about how silly stuff went down in the past. I hate it. Waking up from a dream relating to something that happened 5 years ago with friends that I am no longer close to. It makes me re-evaluate and consider making amends. Until, eventually I remember why I decided to do things as I did... yuck.

Hello Kingston

Yep. I am here in Kingston now. I forgot what it was like to be surrounded by awesome shopping at all times. Which is probably why Danial and I purchased a new bed and 37' flat screen on our first day. Yikes :)

Since Friday I have been sleeping on an air mattress with a leak. Pretty crappy. BUT our new bed arrived today so it should be an awesome sleep tonight.
Currently, I am procrastinating. I have a paper due tomorrow. Then this summer class will finally be over!

I am brainstorming about where I would like to work. I am thinking that it needs to be a job that I don't need to stress over. Possibly a waitress? hmm.

I am getting really excited for my upcoming Victoria trip. It will be the only time for my social work degree that I am required to meet with fellow students face to face.

Eek

Thursday is coming soon.. our day of departure. It is crappy because it is also a crazy week for school work. I would much rather chill with buds before I leave instead of writing papers and studying for finals :S

I should stop complaining. I have the entire month of July off and I am not living on the streets in poverty. Who knows when I will ever get a summer month off again? Care-free summers are pretty amazing.

I am really looking forward to having my own place again :)

P.S.: Even though I live merely 5 minutes away from the beach I have not seen it this month. Usually I am a beach addict... so wtf? Eh. Maybe I will get there this week... mmm Beach Beer.

Oh yeah.. update...

-Danial found out that he has a 2 week vacation from July 18th till Aug 2nd.
-He will aid me with moving shenanigans.
-I am jobless for my time remaining on PEI
-Planning my trip to Victoria for social work training~wootwoot
-I already miss my PEI buds
-Canada's wonderland....
-Listening to Red Hot Chili Peppers
-Army STILL hasn't 'approved' our move

Since when is everyone pregnant?

Plann~ish

Yep.. I've now got a kinda sorta plan. Danial has been apartment hunting.. so he is hoping to get one that is available in July. He looked at one that he likes last night and will probably take it.

If that is a "go" then I will take a carload up at the beginning of July.

Hopefully I can work something out for our kitty (Chicken). I took her to the vet last week and they say that she is healthy but she gets crazy nervous traveling.
I tried to dope her up with *vet recommended* Benedryl as a test run today. She started frighteningly salivating and frothing as if she had rabies. Then her eyes began to water and I felt like an awful kitty momma.

She then proceeded to upchuck the 1/4 tablet of Benedryl along with her breakfast.

It sucks. She has always been a freak about traveling but now it is getting to the point where I think that she will have a panic attack etc etc.

When I took her in to the vet she got crazy, bugged her eyes out and her mouth began to stretch open with her tongue hanging out. She then began panting as if she could not get any air. Then to top it off she peed her fur pants.

Any ideas as to how I can move her to Kingston without killing her?

Come to the desert and I'll circumcise you

Man, I haven't heard that song in forever.

For a long time now I have been kind of grossed out with this blog. My posts are so fluffy with only a censored line or two about what is truly on my mind.

Lately I have been outraged about issues that have been bubbling to get out of me. I'm thinking that I will begin ranting about them here.

I also need to change my blog template. The good ol martini lounge just doesn't seem to represent like it used to.

With that said, who knows whether or not it will happen.

Please stop spinning..... Please stop spinning!

I am finally accepting that Danial will probably not be coming to PEI to move our crap like I hoped. Unfortunately when paperwork goes missing it screws up plans. Funny how that goes. The office people keep telling him to come back the next day to get an update. Quite impressive use of technology ey?

Speaking of technology, my laptop is becoming useless. It especially likes to be a challenge when I am trying to do school work.. on a deadline of course.

Oh yeah, back to moving. Seems likely that I will be doing the move around July 6th. If it turns out that way I plan to hire some friendly movers. I am already cranky enough without moving hehe.

I guess that is it for now. I lost any inspiration I had to write.